he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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