peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
