My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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