just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
