im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize