Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
