i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
