Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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