How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize