quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My liver just had a heart attack.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
