Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
