Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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