Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
