As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
