so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
