This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
