We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
