You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
