Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
