U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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