You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
