Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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