I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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