i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Damn victory sex feels great
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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