Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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