Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
