I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
