you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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