I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
