He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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