very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
