I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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