So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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