Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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