Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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