I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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