he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My vagina is very pro this idea
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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