she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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