Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize