I'm so fucking centered right now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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