Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
