Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
