So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
