dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What a dumb baby whore.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
