Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
