She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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