Your tits are I can't wait for
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
