we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
