In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize