I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
