just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
