LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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