I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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