What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
