I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Found your dick twin last night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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