So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
