he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
