If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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