Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So much rum. So many feels.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
