I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
