she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Damn victory sex feels great
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
